Archive for smoking

the day i put my life in someone else’s hand.

{ May 25, 2005 @ 5:31 pm } · { favorites, friends, smoking }
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i have tried numerous times to quit smoking… and i never did… sure, i can go without smoking for weeks, but then i’d find myself asking her for a cigarette again and again… then i thought, it’s because nobody cared enough what i do to myself. because they knew that i have my own will. but then, it’s different. read on…

you know why i continue to smoke?

y? to kill urself? hehe

coz nobody asked me to stop.

cancer sticks. not cigarette sticks.

yeah. but then nobody has ever told me pointblank to quit. they just tell me this and that.

nobody?

nobody.

its different when you tell me that it can kill u… its different when u tell me its no good for u… than telling me to stop.

then quit. think of your children.

then i will. if you’re telling me to quit, though.

humans sometimes don’t think of themselves. so humans must think another level.

so, are u telling me to quit, then?

if i tell u to quit, and you quit, u must never smoke a single cancer stick for the rest of your life. can u do that?

as i said, are u telling me to quit, then?

quit.

ok. thank you.

no prob.

i promise not to smoke a cancer stick until i can see a mole at the palm of my hand.

its different when u put ur life into someone else’s hand. u feel obliged to live.

the day i put my life in someone else’s hand.

{ May 25, 2005 @ 5:31 pm } · { favorites, friends, smoking }
{ } · { Leave a Comment }

i have tried numerous times to quit smoking… and i never did… sure, i can go without smoking for weeks, but then i’d find myself asking her for a cigarette again and again… then i thought, it’s because nobody cared enough what i do to myself. because they knew that i have my own will. but then, it’s different. read on…

you know why i continue to smoke?

y? to kill urself? hehe

coz nobody asked me to stop.

cancer sticks. not cigarette sticks.

yeah. but then nobody has ever told me pointblank to quit. they just tell me this and that.

nobody?

nobody.

its different when you tell me that it can kill u… its different when u tell me its no good for u… than telling me to stop.

then quit. think of your children.

then i will. if you’re telling me to quit, though.

humans sometimes don’t think of themselves. so humans must think another level.

so, are u telling me to quit, then?

if i tell u to quit, and you quit, u must never smoke a single cancer stick for the rest of your life. can u do that?

as i said, are u telling me to quit, then?

quit.

ok. thank you.

no prob.

i promise not to smoke a cancer stick until i can see a mole at the palm of my hand.

its different when u put ur life into someone else’s hand. u feel obliged to live.

of Turtles and being a chimney.

{ April 2, 2005 @ 10:27 pm } · { smoking, turtles }
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nawawala na ata ako sa sarili. simula ng napamahal sa akin ang alaga kong pagong na si Pong, nahilig ako sa kahit ano mang bagay na may disenyong pagong.

san man ako magpunta, hanap ako ng hanap… Pong, come out, come out wherever you are… parang kantang ayaw matanggal sa utak ko… LSS (last song syndrome) kung tawagin.

merong mga araw na napipikon na ako… magtatanong ako sa mga saleslady:

“meron ba kayong t-shirt na may turtle print? kahit ano’ng may turtle design.”

may aksent na di ko alam kung ano. “ay.. ah.. eh.. wala po ata. meron po dati kasi nakita ko sa children’s, pero di po ata turtel ang tawag dun, ano po ata… ah… turtoys? ayun, turtoys po.”

minsan gusto kong yugyugin ang mga taong nasasalubong ko:

“wala na bang taong nagmamahal sa mga pagong? hindi niyo ba naaalala ang saya na binigay sa atin ni Pong sa Batibot? Buti pa si Kiko Matsing!”

wala. kahit saan ako magpunta sa Makati… puro tidi ber. puro eyndyel. puro Korean telenovelas ang nakikita ko…

meron na kasi akong mga bagay na may turtle designs sa bahay:

a bracelet that my sister-in-law gave me.
a small pillow.
a cute turtle made out of puca shells.
an action figure of the turtoise in Finding Nemo which my kids have pala.

Good Lowrd! Please help me.. kahit ano lang… para maibsan ang craving ko…

and yesterday at last, some light at the end of the hallway:

a cd case (found it in Landmark).
a celfone chain.
a necklace (i just love it).
a letter opener.

the other three I found at a stall in uppermost floor of Glorietta where they sell locally made things… they also have cascading earrings made out of shells… so pretty! but they weren’t turtlish.

i hate myself. this is an addiction. and i hate being addicted to something.

pero, i accept all kinds of turtlish things as donations to my growing (yawn!) collection! har-har.

galing ako sa doctor kanina… and I was proud to tell her that I have quit smoking just recently. hehe. op cors, i was never addicted naman talaga to it… i was just smoking lalo na pag stressed.

since marami akong nararamdaman lately na, tinigil ko na. minsan nagnanakaw ng isang stick kay Mai, pero minsan lang…

Kapag may nakakasama si Mai sa breaks, di na ko sumasama sa kanila, para iwas na rin ako. And I can say na, it made me feel better.

Now, if I can just persuade Mai… hehehe.

Anyway, she told me that she cannot prescribe me something for the cysts coz it will make me toxic again… whatever that means.

but, it’s nothing to worry about.

Thank goodness.