i haven’t blogged for a long time. and if you have followed me since I started blogging, you’d know what I mean by “blogged.” Not the boring everyday-routine-blogging. But the what I always call “saksak-puso-tulo-ang-dugo” kind.
I really am not sure why. I always have strange things happening in my life. My mind is always overflowing with morbidity and awe. I still have the angst and the joy. The duality of everything is still within me.
I still am the person who feels pain and doubt. The mother who takes care of her children, fights for them, and laughs with them. And sometimes, I still feel I’m rotten to the core.
But then again, my fingers cannot do the walking. I am now questioning my sanity. Have I changed? Have I lost tears to shed and cries to shout? Have I understood God’s plan for all my family’s misfortune and my heartaches? No.
I still am human. I cry. I laugh. I shout. I’m rotten and proud of it.
I guess… maybe… my heart is now at peace. Maybe, I have learned to accept the things that I cannot change.
Or maybe…
I’m just too darn lazy. 
